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For your amusement

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Social Media Explained Social Media Explained
"You're not compatible, Sir!" "You're not compatible, Sir!"

Technical Support stories

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Tech support:     What kind of computer do you have?
Customer:           A white one ...
Tech support:     Click on the 'my computer' icon to the left of the screen.
Customer:           Your left or my left?

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Customer:           Hi, good afternoon, this is Bill, I can't print. Every time I try, it says 'can't find printer'.  I've even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can't find it.

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Customer:           My keyboard is not working anymore.
Tech support:     Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?
Customer:           No. I can't get behind the computer.
Tech support:     Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.
Customer:           OK
Tech support:     Did the keyboard come with you?
Customer:           Yes
Tech support:     That means the keyboard is not plugged in.

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Customer:           I can't get on the Internet.
Tech support:     Are you sure you used the right password?
Customer:           Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.
Tech support:     Can you tell me what the password was?
Customer:           Five dots.

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Tech support:     What anti-virus program do you use?
Customer:           Netscape.
Tech support:     That's not an anti-virus program.
Customer:           Oh, sorry ... Internet Explorer.

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Customer:           I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen saver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears.

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Tech support:     How may I help you?
Customer:           I'm writing my first email.

Tech support:     OK, and what seems to be the problem?
Customer:           Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but how do I get the little circle around it?

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A customer called the Xerox Help Desk with a problem with her printer. 
Tech support:     Are you running it under Windows?
Customer:           No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his printer is working fine.

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And last but not least! 

Tech support:     'Okay Bill, Let's press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now type the letter 'P' to bring up the Program Manager.'
Customer:           I don't have a P.
Tech support:     On your keyboard, Bill.
Customer:           What do you mean?
Tech support:     'P'..... on your keyboard, Bill.
Customer:           I'M NOT GOING TO DO THAT!

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Source : Computer Skills for Seniors (courtesy of Jeremy)